|Prof. D. Dutch Accuses Prof. Brian Josephson of Preaching Unlikely Physics|
BEDLAM, UKRecently, Dr. Double Dutch (more about him here), professor at Oxford University, expressed much dissatisfaction with the teachings of Dr. Brian Josephson, professor at Cambridge University and winner of the 1973 Nobel prize in physics.
|This box is a brief explanation of Prof. D. Dutch's
Multiverse Theory of Quantum Mechanics.
We tried really hard to understand the "Fabric of Reality", but were making no headway, so we decided, hey, what we need are some examples. That's when we set out to find some examples of the Multiverse in D. Dutch's writings, and we came up with some intriguing ones:
The bitter brawl started when the Royal Mail published 6 stamps commemorating the 100th anniversary of the Nobel Prize. British Nobel laureates were asked by the Royal Mail to write a brief description of their discoveries. These descriptions were compiled and published in booklet form. In his description, Prof. Josephson committed the faux pas of suggesting that Quantum Mechanics may some day lead to an understanding of telepathy.
"It is utter rubbish," said D. Dutch to the press, "Telepathy simply does not exist. The Royal Mail has let itself be hoodwinked into supporting ideas that are complete nonsense."
It's a serious problem. Loyal British subjects will never be able to trust their post office again, now that they're onto the fact that the members of the Royal Mail have such a poor understanding of Quantum Mechanics.
It's a sad tale all around. Both professors have been driven to insanity by Quantum Mechanics. But despair not. They are well taken care of. British society cherishes its eccentric scientists; they serve as a topic of mirthful conversation at the pub.
A sad tale, truly. After making major contributions to the theory of superconductivity which earned him the Nobel prize, Prof. Josephson began to hear a different drummer (or, maybe, little green leprechaun drummers). He turned his attention to taboo subjects such as the connection between Quantum Mechanics, consciousness, extra-sensory perception, and other paranormal phenomena.
Prof. Dutch, on the other hand, is a fervent preacher of the Everett multi-universe interpretation of Quantum Mechanics (See gray box on left side). New Scientist and other tabloids can't get enough of him. Proving the existence of multiple universes, and communicating, as if by Royal Mail, with those other universes, is Prof. Dutch's driving lifelong ambition. Of his papers, he is most proud of one that he published in 1984. The book "The Quest for the Quantum Computer" by Julian Brown Nose, describes that paper thus (page 22):
To test the existence of multiple universes, he envisage the construction of a thinking, conscious artificial intelligence whose memory worked "at the quantum level". Such a machine, he claimed, could be asked to conduct a crucial experiment inside its own brain, and report back to us whether Deutsch was indeed right to believe in the existence of parallel universes.
"Yep. We've got the right one. Put him in the padded car, men."
|© 2002, Artiste|